Getting Ready Together on Your Wedding Day: Pros & Cons
If tradition isn’t a priority for you, getting ready together on your wedding morning calms nerves, sets a relaxed tone, simplifies your photo timeline, and cuts accommodation and transportation costs. You can still keep the surprise by changing into your outfits in separate rooms and doing a first look.
Hi, I’m Cat DeLine, a Virginia wedding photographer and your trusted vendor friend who tells it like it is. After photographing over 200 weddings, this is my slightly controversial advice: get ready together. Your mom (and maybe great Aunt Mabel) might not love it, but it’s your wedding. If I got married again today, this is exactly what I’d do.
Prefer to watch? Here’s the full video.
Why Getting Ready Together Calms Wedding Day Nerves
The biggest reason is simple: it sets the vibe. You’re used to getting ready next to your person every day. You like them, and you’re about to commit to being with them for life. So why spend the most important morning apart?
When couples get ready separately, I see the same thing over and over: nerves. Not about getting married, but about the size of the day and everything happening at once. And you’re cut off from the one person who normally calms you down and talks you through it.
Couples who get ready together are noticeably more relaxed. They start the day slowly, soak it in, and build toward the big moments instead of everything hitting at once when the photographer walks in. This is something I’ve seen more often at my LGBTQ+ weddings, and I think more couples, period, should consider it.
A Real Wedding: How Two Brides Got Ready Together
A few years ago, I photographed two brides who got ready in one house with both of their wedding parties and their parents. They had hair and makeup done side by side, wearing cute matching loungewear sets instead of their wedding outfits.
When I walked in, the vibe was immaculate. Music was playing, everyone was singing karaoke and reminiscing about college, and there were mimosas and coffee all around. They had planned a big day with lots of moving parts, yet the morning felt calm with just the right amount of excitement.
When it was time to dress, each bride went to her own room. Then we did a first look on the front porch while rain fell around them. Neither had seen the other’s outfit, so the surprise was fully intact, but they walked into that moment relaxed instead of anxious.
How to Keep the Surprise When You Get Ready Together
Worried you’ll lose the wow moment? You won’t, if you plan it right.
- Do hair and makeup together in comfortable loungewear, robes, or matching sets.
- Keep your hair and makeup true to you. Enhance your features rather than transforming your look, so your partner isn’t seeing something drastically new.
- Change into your outfits in separate rooms.
- Do a first look before the ceremony so the outfit reveal is still a private, emotional moment.
Why Photographers Love It: Timeline Benefits
Getting ready in one location makes your photo timeline smoother and your gallery fuller.
- No gaps with one photographer. Your photographer isn’t driving between two locations, so they don’t miss moments at one spot while covering the other.
- Possibly fewer coverage hours. Travel time between locations counts toward your package. Cutting it can save hours or give you more images. Check with your photographer.
- More time for details. I can take my time on flat lays and detail photos, then jump up to catch a moment as it happens.
- Two photographers, even better. One captures details while the other captures the people and atmosphere.
- Everyone gets comfortable with your photographer early. Your whole wedding party knows the flow from the start, so everyone gets dressed and ready around the same time.
Save on Accommodations and Transportation
One getting-ready location means one booking instead of two. A large Airbnb or rental house works especially well, since everyone has room to spread out. In a hotel, book a suite big enough for both wedding parties.
Transportation gets simpler too. Your shuttle, limo, or bus picks up from one place and can run in shifts, so you don’t need to hire two separate vehicles.
The Cons: Who Should Get Ready Separately
This isn’t for every couple. Getting ready separately may be the better fit if:
- You love the tradition of not seeing each other before the ceremony, or not staying together the night before.
- Your dream moment is seeing your partner for the first time as one of you walks down the aisle.
- Your family has strong feelings about tradition and keeping the peace matters more to you.
That said, you can still get ready together for hair, makeup, and the fun parts, then split up before getting dressed.
Who it’s perfect for: If being apart from your partner makes you anxious, and they’re the one who calms you down, get ready together. Your whole day will feel better for it.
Getting Ready Together FAQ
Is it bad luck to see each other before the wedding?
It’s a tradition, not a rule. Many couples now see each other before the ceremony, often through a first look, and it tends to make the day calmer and the photo timeline easier.
Can we still do a first look if we get ready together?
Yes. Do hair and makeup together, then change into your outfits in separate rooms. The first look is still a surprise because neither of you has seen the other’s attire.
Does getting ready together save money?
Often, yes. You may only need one accommodation, one transportation pickup point, and possibly fewer hours of photography coverage since your photographer isn’t traveling between locations.
What’s the best place to get ready together?
A large rental house or Airbnb with separate rooms for dressing is ideal. In a hotel, choose a suite big enough for both wedding parties.
Is getting ready together good for photos?
Yes. With one location, your photographer avoids travel gaps, has more time for detail shots, and captures more candid moments between you, your wedding party, and your families.
The Bottom Line
Your wedding is a celebration of the two of you. Think about how you want to feel, not just the experience you’re creating for guests. If you want a relaxed morning, a fun bonding experience with your wedding party, and a smoother timeline, consider getting ready together.
Planning a wedding in Virginia? Contact DeLine Photography to talk about your day. For more honest wedding advice, subscribe to Velvet Edit on YouTube.
